


I Still Have Nightmares

by emperorwrit, phalanges mccoy (emperorwrit)



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies), Pacific Rim Uprising - Fandom
Genre: And is imagining him, Hermann misreads what newt says and thinks he just misses him, Lost Love, M/M, Post-Movie: Pacific Rim (2013), Pre-Movie: Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018), What if Hermann got an emotional support animal, in the drift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-18 03:03:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14203629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emperorwrit/pseuds/emperorwrit, https://archiveofourown.org/users/emperorwrit/pseuds/phalanges%20mccoy
Summary: Hermann's service dog, Isaac ( Newton ).





	I Still Have Nightmares

_**I still have nightmares.** _

The PPDC is no stranger to making accommodations for their gifted staff. Since the first onslaught of the Kaiju in 2013, anyone on base received care for any mental illnesses that would have come about from the stress. The most notable of these accommodations is a service dog by the name of Isaac. He's a short German Shepard, with bright and intense brown eyes, and a chestnut coat.

Hermann first became his owner after he drifted with Newton and the Kaiju, and after they saved the world. He wasn't speaking to Newton that much, and the ghost drift hung between them like a guillotine ready to fall. It ached at first. Then came the nightmares. The phantom faces. Things he couldn't quite understand.

Each was more terrifying than the last.

And each made him wake with a scream.

But tonight, tonight, it wasn't the shimmering and ever-shifting blue and blackness. Instead, his heart stilled in his chest.

* * *

 "Hey, buddy," says Newton, shimmering out of sleep-nothingness, "you're sleeping. I just wanted to say I miss you."

It's been two years since he's last seen Newt, since Newt said it wouldn't work. His heart aches.

"I can't talk to you for long. You wouldn't understand."

Hermann blinks, tries to reach forward. Newton can't seem to do the same. He's frozen, like he's suspended by angry vines that hold him in place. But he can fight it a little.

"I felt it when we drifted."

Gottlieb averts his eyes--- staring at the bright, washed out color of the Drift. All around them, memories flitter by, and Hermann wants to snatch one, to run away. It's never been easy talking to Newt. Especially not when they'd said their goodbyes.

"Felt what, Newton?" His tone is more acidic than he'd have liked.

At the use of his full name, Geiszler flinches. He seems more hollow than before: his eyes aren't as shining, and he looks tired. Worn. Like he's being torn apart.

"Your feelings."

He swallows thickly, the heat of anger making his cheeks flush red, "Well. And you still left."

"I couldn't choose to stay," sputters Geiszler after a mini eternity of measured silence. He turns to go, but is only stopped by a single, muttered phrase of, "I loved you, too."

And then Newton is gone. But the Drift remains, a reminder that even though Newt is a world away, he's always there. A black hole within him that always eats away at Hermann's peace of mind.

A memory flitters into their shared mindspace: a Precursor, huge and cruel, desperate and despicable and sluggish and NOTHING but ugliness. Hermann can feel how evil and humongous it is. He pushes it aside, but then it rushes forward, sinking its teeth into his arm--- gnawing, gnawing--- oh, it hurts, it's _excruciating_!

Hermann awakes with a start, crying out, a cold sweat trickling down his forehead. Isaac springs up from his spot on the floor to investigate. He pops up onto the bed with a Lassie-style jump that makes the bed shift under his weight. He pads forward. Isaac whines his concern, and he finds a moment to drag his cold sniffer along the bridge of Hermann's nose.

Hermann gives a soft sigh, patting his chest, in his tell-all sign of _Come here_. 

There's more shifting, until at last, the dog lays down on his master, and Hermann brushes his fingers through Isaac's fur.

"Hello there, Mr. Newton."

The dog gives a happy lick at his shaking fingers.

"I've had a bad dream, is all. The same nightmares as usual. Except I saw _him_. He was different. His eyes were hollow. He wasn't the same. I don't think he truly cares for me in the same way he had. I don't know which hurts more: the ghost drift, or being away from him. It won't get easier. In fact, it'll be more painful as time goes on. Maybe he wasn't there. Maybe I miss him that much. I loved him, you know. Not that you'd know the concept of romantic love, you _Kuddelmuddel_."

He would be left by one Newton, but one would stay with him.

He pets Isaac's head and curls around the dog. The dog stays his vigil as Hermann falls to sleep.

( And Newton Geiszler would be wishing he could do the same. )

_**I'm sorry, Hermann. They're in my head.** _

**Author's Note:**

> I like the idea of him having a service dog, and cross-communication with Newt trying to tell him that he had to cut off contact to protect Hermann. ( I just love talking in the Drift. )
> 
> Expanded on 11/15/2018.


End file.
